Greetings Fellow Travelers!
How nice of you to drop by my little cesspool of random musings and share a bit of the flavorful (and non-caloric!) scents that always seem to naturally waft from the inner recesses of my too little used mind! But who am I kidding? I am sure that all none of you have waited expectantly, nay hungrily, to discover whatever obnoxious collection of drivel that might pass for this months installment of Blaggard's Blog! A month without a witty posting by yours truly is what? A month! And a good one. Be that as it may, my shrink and my parole officer (not to mention all my unseen friends at NSA (Hi Bob!)) insist that I express myself more often. In English. So there you have it. But where to start?
Did I ever tell you what really scares me? Hillary Clinton. In a nightie. Holding some large rubbery looking thing and saying that she really wants to get o the bottom of my Benghazi. Shudder. OK, that wasn't fair. Nobody should EVER have that foul of a mental image sprung upon them. I apologize. After a long cleansing puke I think I will feel better. Back in a sec.
Still here? Again, my bad. But more to the point; do you want to know what really scares me? Not death. Actually, I have long thought that I would probably kick the proverbial bucket fairly early, just like my dear old dad, who was the picture of 54 year old health until he suddenly dropped dead. This little morbid mindset of mine actually has been something of a blessing. For one thing, I am always sorta surprised every time I have a birthday. It adds a little something extra when you don't take them for granted. Which leads me to the best part. I really think that I have tried harder to appreciate the time that I have been given that I would have if I had just taken it for granted. Life seems more precious in a way, knowing that it is always possible that I could be guest of honor for an extended dirt nap next week. But like I said, I don't sweat the grim reaper. The thing that bothers me is growing older and losing my already tenuous connection with reality. The thought of Alzheimer's is far, far, far more frightening to me than waking up in the arms of Jesus and tasting the everlasting joys of the complete knowledge of, and direct fellowship with, my Heavenly Father. In a word (or two) senility sux. Especially when it really seems that you have never really been all that far from it in the first place. So, the prime directive for your gracious literary host is to somehow keep as many neurons firing in proper order as possible. To paraphrase the Grinch, "I must stop my brain from decaying to last season's Who Hash, but HOW?"
Which leads me (finally) to the title of this months discourse. Well, I suppose I have already talked about the brains part, but what about the other stuff? Glad you asked. Blossoms! As I plants. Lots of them. In MY yard. Alive (for the most part) and planted by ME. If you were to somehow find your way to the Brady hacienda, like say, Brad and Janet with a flat tire, then you might observe that over the last three years (or since my statutory exit from the Armed Services) I have planted azaleas, camellias, roses, dogwoods, blueberry bushes, peach trees, a fig tree (immediately eaten by Bindy, our seven month old Golden), butterfly bushes, Japanese maples, lillies (or something like that), and today, a pecan (pronounced pee-can) tree. Hell, I even tried a garden last year with very mixed results. Tomatoes and I do NOT get along apparently. Stupid fruit(? ) Whatever.
Oh, wait a minute Steve. You just jumped from a depressing paragraph about dying and going crazy to some weird thing about flowers. Perhaps, you wonder, the whole brain hash thing is not quite as abstract as we thought. But no! There is a point here. I think. What I meant to say was that I have somehow found a completely new interest in life. I like flowers. I like seeing something alive and know that knowing that I had something to do with it. I like the idea that there is just a tad more color in the world because of me. So there's that. Oh yeah, and the Tai Chi. I have been doing Tai Chi for the last few months. It's not supposed to be a heavy exercise, and I don't get winded, but for some reason I (and I alone in the class) sweat like a pig when I do it. It's probably neurological or something. Or maybe I am just a prodigy and my Chi is flowing so strong that it just leaks out. Who knows? But there I am, repulsing monkeys and picking up needles from sea bottoms and such things, and enjoying the hell out of it. Looking for harmony or something I suppose. I am not sure how exactly but the Tai Chi and the flowers seem to be connected in some way. Japanese samurai used to grow bonsai trees as hobbies. Maybe they had the same feeling somehow. BTW, I also just started doing Tae Kwon Do as a way to get in shape. Prayers appreciated.
But mostly, the one thing that I had a hand in (so to speak) in bringing beauty into the world is certainly in the person of my wonderful daughter Shannon, who will, in less than a month, be an old married lady. If there is anything that can make you feel older, or make you wonder where the time went, that having a child get married, I don't want to know about it. It was yesterday that she loved riding on my shoulders and pretending to be asleep so that I would carry her to bed, and I was the only man in her life, and all was right with the world (even if I was too stupid to realize it at the time). Now she is a beautiful, brilliant, loving and almost completely out of the nest. I know, that's the way it should be. That means Barb and I did our jobs. Yada yada. Shut up. This is my blog and I can feel sorry for myself if I want to. Besides, I was talking about bringing beauty INTO the world, but I didn't mean that that beauty actually had to grow up and actually go out INTO the world! But Shannon has never been one to gather moss, so I really shouldn't be surprised. At least my plants will damn well stay where I plant them! They are not going to meet some hot gardenia plant from out of state and run off. They will be right there in the yard, growing and getting prettier and prettier, until one day I might decide to set up a playhouse or swing set or something for another little girl that might somehow just show up for some reason, and we will smell flowers and maybe eat a berry or something, and laugh and tell stories about her mother, and laugh some more, and I will be very, very glad that I had enough birthdays to meet her and enough functioning brain cells to love her, and I will be very, very, very happy. The End.
Friday, April 29, 2016
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Bunnies, Bombs, and Bathrooms - Oh MY!!!
Greetings fellow pilgrims! Your humble scribe once again beckons you to waste a small portion of your remaining life experience in a puzzled, but hopefully bemused, attempt at trying to make some literal or figurative sense out of my mental wanderings through the vast, uninhabited wastelands of cyber space. Fresh off my MOST popular blog offering of a month or so ago (WITH A COMMENT, FOR GOSH SAKES - no wait, NEVER MIND), I want to follow up with an insightful bit of drivel regarding a couple of loosely related (in my mind all things are loosely related) topics.
Starting with Happy Easter! The thing here, if I may, is that the older I get the more the simplicity of Christianity means to me. I know we are talking God stuff here, which means, or should logically mean, that nobody has any idea of what they are really talking about and nobody has any right to presume to tell anybody else anything about anything, since God is totally beyond our capacity for thought or appreciation, except it's not. Because of simplicity. God, being the amazing Supreme Being, He is (note that the pronoun "he" is simply a convention - don't get sexist), broke things down to things so simple that even an imbecile like yours truly can start to get the idea. What does it mean for an immaterial. immortal, cosmic being to love? Not a clue. What does it mean for Jesus to love? Easy, he told us. Greater love has no man but to lay down his life for his friends. What does my behavior, often so selfish, hardheaded, hurtful, ignorant, spiteful, malicious, and simply mean that even I can't reconcile my life to any concept of "good" have with relation to a perfect, loving being? Not too much it turns out. Actually it sucks. God is, as He should be, appalled and repulsed. If he were not appalled by parts of me, I would not have a lot of respect for Him, since I am appalled at parts of me. So now what? Well, says God, you won't understand this completely, but somehow, by actually becoming a person, and doing things like living, being murdered, and coming back to life, I take care of all that somehow. You don't, you CAN'T understand it, and as a matter of fact it will sound ridiculous, if not insane, but I'm the Supreme Being here so I make the rules, and, well, it works for ME, so there you are. All you got to do is accept it. At least from your perspective, anyway. I have a lot more to do with you, none of which you can understand or do for yourself, but it needs to be done. So I do it with things like bread and wine. Simple stuff. But when you open your hand and take the wafer, you are taking ME. Across all time and space, across all understanding and knowing, I will be with you Steve. And IN you. And you IN me. Simple, yet more profound than all the brains on earth can ever begin to comprehend. The trick is that you sort of have to be stupid (Jesus said childlike, but stupid is more appropriate for some of us) to believe all of this. So stupid that you think you can understand what you can never really understand, but you can understand, at least a little. And that's enough. Happy Easter. Go eat a chocolate bunny and hide plastic eggs. How's that for stupid.
Now, I had a very upsetting incident happen to me the other day. I was speaking to my pastor, at my mainline, liturgical church, and it happened to be the morning after the Brussels bombings, and I made a snarky (surprise!) comment about the "religion of peace." Faster than a speeding liberal, my pastor admonished me that Islam had absolutely nothing to do with the bombings, and that Islam was, basically, just like Christianity in its respect for all human life. A person standing by helpfully added the ever-popular "KKK" and "Crusades" comments to show how awful Christianity was, demonstrating conclusively that we had no place to judge. I asked my pastor how he could say such a thing, considering the people doing the bombings were explicitly clear that they did so for religious reasons, and his response was that he knew "good" Muslims and they say that their religion is peaceful. So there. End of discussion.
To which I say, "horse hockey." No, all Muslims are not violent. The vast, vast majority probably want nothing to do with warlike jihad. Some aspects of Islam are progressive, or were, comparatively in the Eleventh Century or so, and some Muslim majority nations are almost, but not quite, up to third world Christian standards regarding human rights and personal liberties. But that doesn't answer the question. Why are Muslims, right now, acting like they were back in the Seventh Century on purpose, and why are we afraid to call religious barbarity for what it obviously is? Just tonight the news reports that Christians in Pakistan were bombed while celebrating Easter and a Roman Catholic priest was actually crucified by ISIS on Good Friday. But it's not religious. Couldn't be. Strangely enough this entire mess makes me reflect back to my first point; you have to BELIEVE the TRUTH, even if the truth is uncomfortable and doesn't fit your preconceptions of how the world ought to be My pastor seems to be unable to see a reality that he feels (I'm sure) to be opposed to his faith. But its still a truth. There IS something religious going on here. It's not the Middle Eastern economy stupid. It's how they understand God that's the problem. Failing to see truth is just the flip side of unbelief, and it makes me wonder if I am in the right church. Time will tell, I suppose.
Speaking of time, did someone say unisex bathrooms? Well, of course we in NC are now embroiled in a conflict regarding transgender people and public restrooms. As if we didn't have real problems to worry about. But anyway, the media is doing its best to stoke the flames and keep people confused. One side says they are worried about sexual predators and the other side shows pictures of "guys" that look as beefy as Arnold did back in the mid 1980's, and then informs the reader that "Suzie" was born female. Which bathroom should Suzie use? How about the one that appears correct now? Power-lifters with 40 inch biceps to the guys, and anybody in a dress to the girls. What's the problem? Admittedly, my perspective is shaded by my 5 years of living in Japan, where going to the public toilet was something of an adventure every time. It actually took me a while to get used to going whiz at a urinal with a smiling 60 year old Japanese cleaning lady standing RIGHT beside me, waiting for me to finish. Happened all the time. The funniest incident was in a small town, where a group of us Americans had gone for a field trip. The lady's room was located in the back of he men's, meaning that a line of extremely embarrassed American women had to run a gauntlet of Japanese men busily going tinkle on each side of them before they could get to their bathroom. No harm, no foul. Nobody seemed to mind really. It certainly wasn't a national issue. Which I guess is my point, if I have one. People are again having trouble seeing. Or at least they are having trouble seeing anything other than their own narrow perspectives. And bathrooms? Really?
So, kind and patient reader, who is almost certainly non-existent and purely a product of my fanciful imagination, where does all this leave us? Maybe back where we started. With simplicity. God is real, He did have a Son who rose from the dead. Not all believe, and some even persecute and kill those that do. This is a spiritual issue, not a sociology experiment. And we get all in a huff over things that don't matter all that much. Let people choose where they should attend to their business as long as they don't interfere with anybody else's. That's not what we are here for. It's Easter. There is a miracle to believe.
Starting with Happy Easter! The thing here, if I may, is that the older I get the more the simplicity of Christianity means to me. I know we are talking God stuff here, which means, or should logically mean, that nobody has any idea of what they are really talking about and nobody has any right to presume to tell anybody else anything about anything, since God is totally beyond our capacity for thought or appreciation, except it's not. Because of simplicity. God, being the amazing Supreme Being, He is (note that the pronoun "he" is simply a convention - don't get sexist), broke things down to things so simple that even an imbecile like yours truly can start to get the idea. What does it mean for an immaterial. immortal, cosmic being to love? Not a clue. What does it mean for Jesus to love? Easy, he told us. Greater love has no man but to lay down his life for his friends. What does my behavior, often so selfish, hardheaded, hurtful, ignorant, spiteful, malicious, and simply mean that even I can't reconcile my life to any concept of "good" have with relation to a perfect, loving being? Not too much it turns out. Actually it sucks. God is, as He should be, appalled and repulsed. If he were not appalled by parts of me, I would not have a lot of respect for Him, since I am appalled at parts of me. So now what? Well, says God, you won't understand this completely, but somehow, by actually becoming a person, and doing things like living, being murdered, and coming back to life, I take care of all that somehow. You don't, you CAN'T understand it, and as a matter of fact it will sound ridiculous, if not insane, but I'm the Supreme Being here so I make the rules, and, well, it works for ME, so there you are. All you got to do is accept it. At least from your perspective, anyway. I have a lot more to do with you, none of which you can understand or do for yourself, but it needs to be done. So I do it with things like bread and wine. Simple stuff. But when you open your hand and take the wafer, you are taking ME. Across all time and space, across all understanding and knowing, I will be with you Steve. And IN you. And you IN me. Simple, yet more profound than all the brains on earth can ever begin to comprehend. The trick is that you sort of have to be stupid (Jesus said childlike, but stupid is more appropriate for some of us) to believe all of this. So stupid that you think you can understand what you can never really understand, but you can understand, at least a little. And that's enough. Happy Easter. Go eat a chocolate bunny and hide plastic eggs. How's that for stupid.
Now, I had a very upsetting incident happen to me the other day. I was speaking to my pastor, at my mainline, liturgical church, and it happened to be the morning after the Brussels bombings, and I made a snarky (surprise!) comment about the "religion of peace." Faster than a speeding liberal, my pastor admonished me that Islam had absolutely nothing to do with the bombings, and that Islam was, basically, just like Christianity in its respect for all human life. A person standing by helpfully added the ever-popular "KKK" and "Crusades" comments to show how awful Christianity was, demonstrating conclusively that we had no place to judge. I asked my pastor how he could say such a thing, considering the people doing the bombings were explicitly clear that they did so for religious reasons, and his response was that he knew "good" Muslims and they say that their religion is peaceful. So there. End of discussion.
To which I say, "horse hockey." No, all Muslims are not violent. The vast, vast majority probably want nothing to do with warlike jihad. Some aspects of Islam are progressive, or were, comparatively in the Eleventh Century or so, and some Muslim majority nations are almost, but not quite, up to third world Christian standards regarding human rights and personal liberties. But that doesn't answer the question. Why are Muslims, right now, acting like they were back in the Seventh Century on purpose, and why are we afraid to call religious barbarity for what it obviously is? Just tonight the news reports that Christians in Pakistan were bombed while celebrating Easter and a Roman Catholic priest was actually crucified by ISIS on Good Friday. But it's not religious. Couldn't be. Strangely enough this entire mess makes me reflect back to my first point; you have to BELIEVE the TRUTH, even if the truth is uncomfortable and doesn't fit your preconceptions of how the world ought to be My pastor seems to be unable to see a reality that he feels (I'm sure) to be opposed to his faith. But its still a truth. There IS something religious going on here. It's not the Middle Eastern economy stupid. It's how they understand God that's the problem. Failing to see truth is just the flip side of unbelief, and it makes me wonder if I am in the right church. Time will tell, I suppose.
Speaking of time, did someone say unisex bathrooms? Well, of course we in NC are now embroiled in a conflict regarding transgender people and public restrooms. As if we didn't have real problems to worry about. But anyway, the media is doing its best to stoke the flames and keep people confused. One side says they are worried about sexual predators and the other side shows pictures of "guys" that look as beefy as Arnold did back in the mid 1980's, and then informs the reader that "Suzie" was born female. Which bathroom should Suzie use? How about the one that appears correct now? Power-lifters with 40 inch biceps to the guys, and anybody in a dress to the girls. What's the problem? Admittedly, my perspective is shaded by my 5 years of living in Japan, where going to the public toilet was something of an adventure every time. It actually took me a while to get used to going whiz at a urinal with a smiling 60 year old Japanese cleaning lady standing RIGHT beside me, waiting for me to finish. Happened all the time. The funniest incident was in a small town, where a group of us Americans had gone for a field trip. The lady's room was located in the back of he men's, meaning that a line of extremely embarrassed American women had to run a gauntlet of Japanese men busily going tinkle on each side of them before they could get to their bathroom. No harm, no foul. Nobody seemed to mind really. It certainly wasn't a national issue. Which I guess is my point, if I have one. People are again having trouble seeing. Or at least they are having trouble seeing anything other than their own narrow perspectives. And bathrooms? Really?
So, kind and patient reader, who is almost certainly non-existent and purely a product of my fanciful imagination, where does all this leave us? Maybe back where we started. With simplicity. God is real, He did have a Son who rose from the dead. Not all believe, and some even persecute and kill those that do. This is a spiritual issue, not a sociology experiment. And we get all in a huff over things that don't matter all that much. Let people choose where they should attend to their business as long as they don't interfere with anybody else's. That's not what we are here for. It's Easter. There is a miracle to believe.
Sunday, January 24, 2016
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Learned to Love the Donald
Greetings all my long suffering and mostly non-existent fans! Having made the heartfelt and deeply meaningful commitment to myself to actually do one post per month here at Blaggard's Blog, which is, by the way, the most highly rated new blog EVER to make an appearance by that particular name, I have decided that I will delve into an insightful, yet somehow meaningfully human and comfortably warm, analysis of that most American of quasi-prostitutional social endeavors, politics! Not that I think that anyone should actually care what I happen to think about politics, since I, almost without exception, care nothing at all about what you think about politics, but, again, I remind both myself and you that I write these horrible little discourses for (almost, but not quite exclusively) my own amusement and edification. The little voices in my head like to get out and play in the cyber world from time to time, and this medium is somewhat more hygienic than simply scribbling my random thoughts on the restroom door at a local McDonalds. Plus, people look at you funny there. So there you go.
Anyway, POLITICS! What an important topic you say! What a privilege and responsibility to be a part of the American democratic process! Don't complain unless you vote! The check's in the mail! I have protection! And so it goes. American politics is, if I may use the singular here even though it sort of sounds plural, in my esteemed and considered opinion, a lot of crap. Hot, steaming, crap. And lots of it. And it's not made any less crap-ular because people get all self-righteous about it. The system is rigged, just like the worst carney game at the county fair, and even more than the American insurance and health care industries, and THAT'S saying something. But it is understandable, if you keep a few simple rules in mind.
RULE NUMBER ONE: There is NO, repeat NO, real difference between the two major parties. The candidates, advisers, pundits, office holders, and every other blood sucking leech that makes a career out of manipulating and abusing the American people are exactly, completely, totally, and whole-heartedly IDENTICAL to each other in method and purpose. They are in the system for the promotion of their OWN interests, and any marginal service they provide for their constituencies is merely window dressing. So, if you are a devout Christian and feel that the Republican party actually has the tiniest bit of sympathy for or commitment to your moral interests in issues like abortion, then you are just as delusional as a Black person who feels that the Democratic party actually cares a rat's ass about social justice or civil rights. Neither party gives a damn about anything other than the preservation of their own status and power. Either party will gladly, happily, and intentionally sell the personal and political interests of their constituents to whatever special interest or foreign government that will cut the biggest check. So before we go ANY further, get comfortable with this idea: THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE DEMOCRATIC AND REPUBLICAN POLITICAL MACHINES - IN FACT, THEY BOTH HATE AND ABUSE YOU EQUALLY.
But I can hear the clamor and outrage surging through the internet. Elections have consequences! Clinton/Bush/Obama/Lincoln/Hoover had to FIGHT to push their agenda through! MY candidate LOVES me! Bullshit.
RULE NUMBER TWO: The parties create and nurture grievances and insecurities specifically to attract and control certain specific groups of people (these groups, commonly referred to as VOTING BLOCKS, are the raw materials from which politicians create their public images) in order to tie down as many people as possible into particular and emotional mindsets. Once the politician gets people to actually believe that THEY care about global warming or Hillary's emails, then the politician's job is over. Done. Finished. The politician will never willingly solve or address the issue in question because to do so would eliminate the voting block that is carried along by the issue. Ever wonder why we still have inner city poverty after trillions spent on the "war" against it? Because the Democrats NEED poor Black votes. If Black people were successful they might care more about the stock market, and the Republicans have already called dibs on that issue, so the secret is to keep Black people poor. Address minor things, sure. Make speeches, sure. Wail and cry and swear that you would give your life's blood to end the scourge of poverty, sure. But keep them damn people poor and voting like we tell them. Same for anti-abortion Christians. Go on tv and talk about your religion, sure. Encourage people to march, fine. Even place stupid amendments in bills that you know are NEVER going to pass in order to make a show of your commitment, fine. But, by God, nobody in Washington will ever seriously modify the current status of abortion because it provides TWO DEDICATED VOTING BLOCKS! It's in BOTH parties best interest to do nothing in order to keep people angry and antagonized against the other party because of abortion, so nothing will ever be done.
With me so far? OK then, Since neither party really stands for anything except their own self interest, and since no fundamental issue will ever be resolved because doing so would create social harmony instead of politically useful fractionalization, it stands to reason that....
RULE NUMBER THREE: NO reasonable American would EVER vote for any candidate endorsed by either of the major parties. All major party nominees are more PRODUCTS than people, and they owe their position exclusively to the system and the big money donors for whom it operates. Voters are, at best, necessary evils to be tolerated, just like the crooked faith healer tolerates the poor, uneducated hicks who flock to the tent revivals and send donations from their Social Security checks. The scam artist needs the mark, but he doesn't respect the mark. Neither does the politician respect the "true believer" voter. But he or she needs them. Voting for either party is the best way to ensure that nothing good will ever happen in Washington. And third party candidates never win, so that's out. But wait..
What about the DONALD???? He's running within a major party, but the party HATES him!! The Republican establishment is going ape poop about Trump "stealing" their apparatus without bowing down to the establishment playbook. BOTH the Dems and Pubs are talking about Donald being unqualified, a joke, an embarrassment, a threat, and whatever else. Why? Because he doesn't owe his identity and political clout to the system, that's why. It's like he's, damn, can I say it, it's like he's a real person, sort of, with lots of money and bad hair, but still. Trump is the first non-machine presidential candidate of my lifetime. I will probably never see another one with any real chance of winning, since the stars will never align like this again, but damn!
Now finally, for those of you who might have reservations about Trump, just remember these simple facts.
I. All politicians are ignorant and unqualified for their office. They just pay lots of people to make them appear qualified.
II. All politicians are ignorant and unqualified for office. That includes any alternative to Trump just as much as it does to Trump himself.
III. All politicians are ignorant and unqualified for office. But they have been playing the game by their rules so long they never imagined that somebody could just come by and pee in their electoral pool.
IV. All politicians are ignorant and unqualified for office. But all the others NEED the current system of confusion, division, and downright criminal activity in order to keep themselves afloat. Donald doesn't
V. All politicians are ignorant and unqualified for office. And if you EVER wanted to give the political establishment a good, soul cleansing, self affirming, hard kick in the nuts, then you now actually have a chance. A chance unlikely ever to be repeated. You can give them Donald.
Any questions?
Anyway, POLITICS! What an important topic you say! What a privilege and responsibility to be a part of the American democratic process! Don't complain unless you vote! The check's in the mail! I have protection! And so it goes. American politics is, if I may use the singular here even though it sort of sounds plural, in my esteemed and considered opinion, a lot of crap. Hot, steaming, crap. And lots of it. And it's not made any less crap-ular because people get all self-righteous about it. The system is rigged, just like the worst carney game at the county fair, and even more than the American insurance and health care industries, and THAT'S saying something. But it is understandable, if you keep a few simple rules in mind.
RULE NUMBER ONE: There is NO, repeat NO, real difference between the two major parties. The candidates, advisers, pundits, office holders, and every other blood sucking leech that makes a career out of manipulating and abusing the American people are exactly, completely, totally, and whole-heartedly IDENTICAL to each other in method and purpose. They are in the system for the promotion of their OWN interests, and any marginal service they provide for their constituencies is merely window dressing. So, if you are a devout Christian and feel that the Republican party actually has the tiniest bit of sympathy for or commitment to your moral interests in issues like abortion, then you are just as delusional as a Black person who feels that the Democratic party actually cares a rat's ass about social justice or civil rights. Neither party gives a damn about anything other than the preservation of their own status and power. Either party will gladly, happily, and intentionally sell the personal and political interests of their constituents to whatever special interest or foreign government that will cut the biggest check. So before we go ANY further, get comfortable with this idea: THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE DEMOCRATIC AND REPUBLICAN POLITICAL MACHINES - IN FACT, THEY BOTH HATE AND ABUSE YOU EQUALLY.
But I can hear the clamor and outrage surging through the internet. Elections have consequences! Clinton/Bush/Obama/Lincoln/Hoover had to FIGHT to push their agenda through! MY candidate LOVES me! Bullshit.
RULE NUMBER TWO: The parties create and nurture grievances and insecurities specifically to attract and control certain specific groups of people (these groups, commonly referred to as VOTING BLOCKS, are the raw materials from which politicians create their public images) in order to tie down as many people as possible into particular and emotional mindsets. Once the politician gets people to actually believe that THEY care about global warming or Hillary's emails, then the politician's job is over. Done. Finished. The politician will never willingly solve or address the issue in question because to do so would eliminate the voting block that is carried along by the issue. Ever wonder why we still have inner city poverty after trillions spent on the "war" against it? Because the Democrats NEED poor Black votes. If Black people were successful they might care more about the stock market, and the Republicans have already called dibs on that issue, so the secret is to keep Black people poor. Address minor things, sure. Make speeches, sure. Wail and cry and swear that you would give your life's blood to end the scourge of poverty, sure. But keep them damn people poor and voting like we tell them. Same for anti-abortion Christians. Go on tv and talk about your religion, sure. Encourage people to march, fine. Even place stupid amendments in bills that you know are NEVER going to pass in order to make a show of your commitment, fine. But, by God, nobody in Washington will ever seriously modify the current status of abortion because it provides TWO DEDICATED VOTING BLOCKS! It's in BOTH parties best interest to do nothing in order to keep people angry and antagonized against the other party because of abortion, so nothing will ever be done.
With me so far? OK then, Since neither party really stands for anything except their own self interest, and since no fundamental issue will ever be resolved because doing so would create social harmony instead of politically useful fractionalization, it stands to reason that....
RULE NUMBER THREE: NO reasonable American would EVER vote for any candidate endorsed by either of the major parties. All major party nominees are more PRODUCTS than people, and they owe their position exclusively to the system and the big money donors for whom it operates. Voters are, at best, necessary evils to be tolerated, just like the crooked faith healer tolerates the poor, uneducated hicks who flock to the tent revivals and send donations from their Social Security checks. The scam artist needs the mark, but he doesn't respect the mark. Neither does the politician respect the "true believer" voter. But he or she needs them. Voting for either party is the best way to ensure that nothing good will ever happen in Washington. And third party candidates never win, so that's out. But wait..
What about the DONALD???? He's running within a major party, but the party HATES him!! The Republican establishment is going ape poop about Trump "stealing" their apparatus without bowing down to the establishment playbook. BOTH the Dems and Pubs are talking about Donald being unqualified, a joke, an embarrassment, a threat, and whatever else. Why? Because he doesn't owe his identity and political clout to the system, that's why. It's like he's, damn, can I say it, it's like he's a real person, sort of, with lots of money and bad hair, but still. Trump is the first non-machine presidential candidate of my lifetime. I will probably never see another one with any real chance of winning, since the stars will never align like this again, but damn!
Now finally, for those of you who might have reservations about Trump, just remember these simple facts.
I. All politicians are ignorant and unqualified for their office. They just pay lots of people to make them appear qualified.
II. All politicians are ignorant and unqualified for office. That includes any alternative to Trump just as much as it does to Trump himself.
III. All politicians are ignorant and unqualified for office. But they have been playing the game by their rules so long they never imagined that somebody could just come by and pee in their electoral pool.
IV. All politicians are ignorant and unqualified for office. But all the others NEED the current system of confusion, division, and downright criminal activity in order to keep themselves afloat. Donald doesn't
V. All politicians are ignorant and unqualified for office. And if you EVER wanted to give the political establishment a good, soul cleansing, self affirming, hard kick in the nuts, then you now actually have a chance. A chance unlikely ever to be repeated. You can give them Donald.
Any questions?
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